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Sutekh

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The Sutekh Zodiac is extremely accurate at all times. It is a system similar to the Chinese Zodiac, in that it measures personality via years.


Contents

Sutekh New Year

Sutekh New Year always takes place on the first day of O-Week, which is always a Wednesday.


Zodiac Signs

There are 6 signs in the Sutekh Zodiac.


Each of these signs have their own set of associated personality traits, as well as their weaknesses. Your year is determined by what year you first joined Sutekh (as in, when you first paid membership OR when you first started hanging around like a bad smell, whichever came first), as opposed to your birth year.


Year of the Zombie

The Year of the Zombie generally heralds a larger crop of n00bs than other years, and while these large crops can contain quite a lot of awesome people, there's also a good chance that a Zombie year will bring stupid jerks who eat your branes. People who join in a Zombie year are more likely to take up the offers of tutoring from older Sutekhers (part of their brane-eating agenda), and are certainly more likely to bore you to tears on the internet. However, Zombie-year Sutekhers have their strengths, and can be powerful allies, full of stubborn, endless sass which can grind your enemies down. And, once having eaten the branes of others, can become hugely intelligent. The main weakness of Zombie-year Sutekhers is religion, especially priests, with their undead-binding rituals. This is especially evident in the Great Aloys Invasion of 2006 and their blind fear of the Catholic Church.


Year of the Pirate

The Year of the Pirate brings a medium sized bunch of new members, but what they lack in numbers they make up in sheer energy. Pirate-year Sutekhers are more susceptible to Rageface than others, and also more likely to come up with harebrained schemes. Their main weakness is rum. Other forms of grog can also completely distract and incapacitate them.


Year of the Wizard

Wizard-Year Sutekhers are a strange bunch. Although the face they generally present to the world is sparkly and child-friendly, it is important to remember that wizards used to be druids, and so there's a quiet, scary side to them. When they're taking hallucinogens and explaining all about how cool everything is, picture them with a small sickle and a very knowing look. So yes, they're fun, but they can also be dark and twisty and totally hardcore. The main weakness of Wizard-years is bureaucracy. Forms! They hate them.


Year of the Ninja

Those who arrive in the Year of the Ninja are often hardly seen at all. Ninja-years have the largest amount of Whotekhers. Although Ninja-year Sutekhers are often absent, whenever they DO show up, it's intense and sometimes violent. Ninja-year Sutekhers can be defeated by anything that impugns their honour and reputation. If you want to defeat a Ninja-year Sutekher, rumours are a good place to start.


Year of the Superhero

Superhero-year people can be the most awesome and hard-working of all Sutekhers. They're certainly the best at overcoming life obstacles, and tend to have better-paying jobs than other people. They also have a lot of ambition. This can translate as being extremely impatient with those less useful than themselves, and can occasionally lead to them being self-important jerks, but 95% of the time they're totally ace. The Arch-nemesis of Superhero-year Sutekhers is anyone who doesn't recognise their inherent awesomeness (real or imaginary - remember, that 5% of them suck balls) and casually get in the way of their plans. Superhero people tend to deal with this by befriending Zombie-years or Pirate-years and aiming them at their foes. Everyone needs a minion.

Year of the Robot

Robot-years produce the most logical and calculating of all Sutekhers, and sometimes also the ones with the greatest amount to offer to humanity. So, yes, there are totally awesome Robots who work hard to benefit society, and there are also ones that go mad (or maybe had faulty programming in the first place) and destroy everything for their own purposes. Most Robot-year people are awesome and cool, though. For serious. They can be defeated through poor logic.


Years