I want to be a Pirate.
They get all the booty.
Question: Why are pirates pirates?
Answer: Because they arrrr.
Pirates are the mortal enemies of Ninjas, because they both contain such high levels of Awesome that fights break out whenever they meet.
Pirates are often associated with the powers of necromancy. Particularly skulls, zombies, and ghosts.
It was recently established beyond all reasonable doubt that the number of pirates on Earth is inversely proportional to the amount of pollution. In Days of Yore, when there were many pirates, there was little if no pollution. Now when there almost no pirates left in the wild, there is a heap of pollution.
If we are to fight climate change, we must see reason and abandon our efforts to reduce carbon emissions. This is a waste of time that could be better used to promote piracy(1).
(1)- Yes, yes we know, correlation does not equal causation, but never let that get in the way of a bad joke.
